We live in a sensory-dense world. Almost everywhere we go, there is sound. It can be overwhelming at times. As humans, we and our nervous systems need moments of silence in order to ground, center, and self-regulate. This helps us to come back to ourselves and our “here-and-now” experience. Yet, for those of us who have become accustomed to the “hustle culture,”* it may be difficult to be still and take in the benefits of silence.
The ability to tolerate silence has value and it is important to our overall sense of health and well-being. Therefore, in this blog post, I’ll highlight some of the benefits of silence and share some tips to help you feel more comfortable being with yourself in silence. I’ll also share some personal reflections from spending time listening to the “silence” of nature. Throughout, I’ll describe some ways that I use deep listening and the benefits of silence in my work as a counselor and music therapist.
Benefits of Silence
But first, I want to say that I know it can be hard to sit in silence. The silence can be deafening. Who knew the thoughts in our “Monkey Minds” could be so loud? In order to drown out the noise inside of ourselves, then, we sometimes distract ourselves with music or other activities. And sometimes this is helpful. Sometimes it’s necessary to distract ourselves if we find ourselves ruminating on unhelpful or harmful thoughts and feelings.
However, when we deny ourselves the ability to be with ourselves in silence, we lose touch with who we are. Spending time with ourselves in silence allows us time for self-reflection and daydreaming. As a result, this affects our sense of creativity and helps us to prioritize what’s important to us. Along with this, it can also help us in strengthening our relationships with others and improving our communication skills.
In addition to these social and emotional benefits, silence can have physical and cognitive benefits. According to the Cleveland Clinic, being able to be still and sit in silence can help you:
- Lower your blood pressure
- Decrease your heart rate
- Steady your breathing
- Reduce muscle tension
- Increase focus and cognition
Ways to Experience the Benefits of Silence
Given these benefits, then, I believe that it’s important for people to find ways that work for them to experience the benefits of silence for themselves. There are different ways that a person can experience silence.
Meditation
Meditation is a common one, although some people find it intimidating or have misconceptions about what it’s about. For example, some people think that meditation is about “emptying your mind of thoughts.” But to simply “stop thinking” isn’t realistic as long as we’re alive. We are thinking and sensing beings; our brains aren’t like light switches that we can turn off. There will always be some thoughts, but the key is to be aware that the thoughts are happening so that they aren’t distractions.
For clients who are new to meditation, especially teens, I like to encourage them to start out by setting a timer for a few minutes and spending time with themselves and their breath until the timer goes off. As they become more comfortable doing this, I suggest that they may want to increase it up to 15 minutes or more.
Mindful Music-Listening
Sometimes if sitting in silence is too overwhelming for them, I suggest using music as a mindfulness meditation support. When practicing this in session, I’ll first ask them about what kind of instrumental music or soundscape they’d like. I do this because, while there are certain aspects of music that I’m looking for in terms of tempo and musical color or intensity, not all people respond the same to certain types of music. Based on what they’ve identified I’ll enter some related search terms into Spotify and we’ll choose a song to use. I may ask them to simply be aware of their breath or to choose an instrument to follow or to follow the musical line.
Everyday Activities That Can Be Done in Be Done in Silence
Some other easy things you can do to experience the benefits of silence are to:
- Sit with yourself without your phone while drinking your morning coffee or eating lunch
- Drive without turning on the radio
Listening to Sounds and Silence in Nature
However, one of my favorite ways to experience silence is to spend time outside in nature. This is because it helps me to feel reconnected to the Earth. With this, I feel more grounded and am able to open my awareness to the other forms of life that live around me.
Last week saw many beautiful days in Boulder, Colorado. Boulder Creek was calling my name, so I took a walk along the Boulder Creek path. Listening to the water and the sounds of people going by on foot or by bike, made me start thinking about how sounds can affect our sense of well-being.
While down by the creek, I heard the beautiful sounds of nature. It led me to think more about the role of listening- being aware of sound, and being aware of the silence. Below is a video of where I reflect a bit more on how sound and silence can impact our well-being.
How I Incorporate the Benefits of Silence in My Work
As a musician, contemplative arts practitioner, and therapist, silence plays an important role in how I work. I need to be comfortable listening deeply in sessions so that I can understand and attune to what clients need. Each of these identities has helped me to listen deeply and learn how to become more comfortable within the silence.
This is important because silence inevitably comes up in sessions. There are times when nothing needs to be said or where it might not be known what needs to be said. How comfortable are we then when that inevitable silence comes up in the therapeutic relationship? Do you feel the need to fill the space by talking because the silence is too uncomfortable or awkward? Sometimes I’m aware of my own feelings of discomfort and feel the need to say something, even if I don’t fully know what to say.
An Invitation for You to Experience the Benefits of Silence
I know that silence can be hard to get comfortable with. Likewise, being able to hear yourself and identify your needs can be hard. If this describes you and your situation, I invite you to contact me. I offer a free 15-minute consultation call where we can talk a little more about what’s going on for you and how I might be able to help you. You can schedule it here.
*To learn more about the cultural and racial history of the term ‘hustle,’ check out this article from NPR’s “Code Switch.”)
