Have you ever found yourself feeling like you were running up into a brick wall when you were trying to overcome some sort of obstacle or challenge in your life? A time when no matter what you did, nothing would change? As a result, you might fight back. Work harder. Push harder.
Or you may feel defeated and want to give up.
Either way, when things don’t change, you might feel like there is something wrong with you. As though there should be something you could do to change the situation. And because you couldn’t, you are somehow “not *insert whatever* enough” or “unworthy” of ever having “nice things.”
But what would happen if you held a different view? Accepting what is as it is can be hard, but sometimes it’s necessary for our mental health. After all, why beat yourself up over something that may just be beyond your control? Likewise, what if this experience of “defeat” or disappointment was a way necessary to lead you into a new, even better direction in your life?
In this post, we’ll explore from a place of empowerment what it means to surrender to challenges. From there, we’ll look at how and why we may respond the way we do to challenges in life. Then we’ll look at some considerations for knowing when surrendering to challenges may be the best approach. I’ll also give you some journal prompts so that you can reflect more on a particular challenge you may be dealing with right now.
Surrender and Acceptance Is Easier Said Than Done, But Not Impossible
Admittedly, being able to surrender and get to a place of acceptance is easier said than done. But it’s not impossible. Likewise, I don’t want to imply that one shouldn’t try to actively create change or work directly to overcome challenges in their lives. However, there are times when there is nothing more that you can do to change the situation. It is outside of your control. In situations like these, it’s time to take a different approach.
When you adopt a mindset of acceptance in situations like these, you may come to recognize valuable learning opportunities. Delving into the underlying emotions and meaning surrounding these challenging experiences can lead to profound awareness, fresh perspectives, and insightful revelations that could aid you in overcoming these challenges or lead you to discover even better opportunities.
Encountering Challenges in Life
In this journey we call life, we often encounter challenges that can seem insurmountable, leaving us feeling frustrated, exhausted, and defeated despite our best efforts. In those moments, emotions like anger, fear, and fatigue can take over, or we might feel a renewed determination to push through and persevere. When we are successful in working through those challenges, we feel rewarded and can gain a sense of accomplishment or confidence. And when we’re not successful, we can feel defeated.
How we respond to challenges is partly due to past life events. Depending on what you’ve experienced in life, facing challenges might be harder to emotionally or mentally navigate than it might be for someone else facing the same challenge. For example, someone who grew up with a secure attachment and is capable of getting their needs met may be better able to respond to challenges. Whereas, if you have a history of trauma in your life and having a hard time getting your needs met, you may have a harder time responding to challenges.
When we don’t have much experience with safety and stability, we may view our situation through the lens of the past, rather than based on what is happening in the present. Having this distorted view can affect how we perceive our options for how to respond. Likewise, core beliefs about not being “good enough” or “worthy” of care can influence how we view our situation even if we are seeing the situation for what it is. This can, in turn, inform how we choose to persevere or if we give up feeling defeated.
Considerations for Surrendering to Challenges
As I’ve mentioned, while perseverance is crucial in overcoming personal challenges, sometimes perseverance isn’t going to work. Likewise, giving up, feeling defeated, and beating yourself up about it doesn’t work either. So what if instead of you reclaim your power by accepting the challenge as it is and being open to exploring the lessons it might hold for you?
To do this, take a moment for self-reflection. Set aside dedicated time to contemplate the obstacles you’re facing and consider the hidden opportunities they might contain. By surrendering to the challenges, you may find a transformative journey awaits—one filled with self-discovery and growth.
Below are some prompts for journaling that you might find helpful:
- When I think about a challenge in my life, what do I feel or experience in my body?
- If I go deeper into my experience of this challenge, what thoughts or emotions are lying below the surface? What is this bringing up for me?
- If I continue taking my current approach to this challenge, what do I have to gain?
- What do I have to gain if I take an approach of acceptance?
- Is there something about this situation or myself that I might not be seeing? If so, what is it? How can I learn from it?
What comes up for you when you feel challenged by life situations? If you experience anxiety, you may find this blog post on managing anxiety helpful.
If You Need Help With Surrendering to Challenges in Your Life
I invite you to embark on this exploration. If you believe that you could benefit from therapy, reach out. I offer a free 15-minute consultation call where I can answer questions you have about therapy and we can see if I’d be a good fit for working with you.
