And in those perhaps seemingly rare instances when one does find themselves with some time, how is that time spent?

This is the situation in which I currently find myself. For the last few days, I have felt an unbearable urge to create something solely for myself- be it art, music, or some form of written output. (As a music therapist, most of my music-making is spent on creating therapeutic experiences for other people.)

Yet… a wall of excuses come up whenever I sit down and attempt to create something, including these old tried and true chestnuts: “I’m too tired” or “There are other things that I *should* be doing.” And of course, these “other things” almost ALWAYS revolve around work. Can anyone else relate to this?

Engaging with these excuses brings about a battle of resistance in which I can feel myself staying up in my head- reluctant to move down into my body, deep into my heart where the underlying emotions lie. From here I ask myself, “What is it that is resistant to being expressed?”

When I breathe into this question and begin to track and journal my thoughts without judgement, I recognize that I’m using these excuses to distract me from identifying for myself what it is that would help bring me back into balance. Isn’t it curious how many times we are reluctant to do those things which could help us feel better?

Presently, I haven’t come up with a definitive answer about any one particular activity that would bring me back to center, but rather I’ve been engaging in little things- writing this post, vocalizing, breathing, enjoying household silence… simply being. Together, all of these things help bring me back a little closer to the center- to a place that allows me to see things from a deeper, clearer perspective.

What are some things that you do to bring yourself into balance? How do you recognize when you’re out of balance? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

Most of the patients with whom I work are older adults in their late 70s and older. I often wonder about the lives my patients led up to that point when we meet. Who do they believe themselves to be? How does their current belief compare with how they may have believed themselves to be in the past?

The developmental stages established by the German-born American developmental psychologist, Erik Erikson, describes the stage of late adulthood as one of questioning who one is and whether their life had meaning. That is, is one at peace with the life they’ve lived and the decisions they’ve made, or are there lingering regrets about things they had (or hadn’t) done?

As a younger middle adult woman interested in helping people to experience enhanced quality of life at any age, I often think about how the choices we make today will affect our outlook on life as older adults. While it’s inevitable that we’ll make decisions or experience things in life that we may identify as regrettable, I believe that consciously embracing regrets as “life lessons” that have been formative in shaping us into the people we are today- and who we hope to be in the future, will help us to be able to look back at our lives as one that was well-lived.

I recently caught the following program with Kathryn Schulz about her TED talk on the topic of “embracing regret.” I really appreciated her perspective on this topic, and I encourage you to check it out:
http://www.npr.org/2012/05/04/151886493/kathyrn-schulz-why-should-we-embrace-regret

I look forward to responding to your thoughts in the comments section.

The stress response is an internal physiological phenomenon of brain activation and hormone secretion which sets off a “fight-or-flight” response that can provide us with the burst of energy needed to escape dangerous situations. This mechanism has been very helpful to us humans through the years as a way to ensure our survival.

In todayʼs busy world, you may find yourself overwhelmed by the demands that are placed upon you either by yourself or others. Yet, oftentimes these demands are not life-threatening, even though the culmination of these stressors may make it feel as though it were.

This culmination can become a vicious cycle in which you may find yourself in a state of perpetual stress. Eventually this feeling of being constantly “stressed out” can grow to become understood as a normal state of being.

However, living from a place where one is constantly “stressed out” comes with both a physical and a mental price. While we are evolutionarily hard-wired to respond to stress, our overall health and well-being are affected when this constant state of stress becomes a way of life.

Some of the health problems that have been found to be linked with the long-term activation of the stress-response system, due particularly to the subsequent overexposure to cortisol and other stress hormones, are:

• Heart disease
• Sleep problems
• Digestive problems
• Depression
• Obesity
• Memory impairment
• Worsening of skin conditions, such as eczema

These are serious health conditions that greatly affect the quality of life for many people in this country. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that 27.1 million Americans are diagnosed with heart disease. Statistics from the National Institute of Mental Health state that in a given year, approximately 14.8 million American adults, or about 6.7 percent of the US population age 18 and older is affected by major depressive disorder. Additionally, about 3.3 million American adults, or 1.5 percent of the population, are affected by dysthymic disorder, or chronic, mild depression.

Following are three easy things that you can do to manage stress for yourself:

• Increase awareness around your own personal stress signals. When you notice yourself becoming stressed, draw attention to what is happening in the present moment. What particular thoughts, feelings or sensations are you experiencing? By shifting focus back to the here-and-now, you can develop a more objective view that can be helpful to you in finding resolution to the stressful situation.

• Simply make a sound, any sound. Many people tend to withhold their voice for anything other than speaking. However, it can feel really good to just sound out how you feel, without any words- just pure sound. It can be a sigh, hum, growl, bark… however you are feeling the need to express yourself in the moment. Creating sound like this with your voice can help you reconnect with your breath because it requires you to breathe more fully and deeply. This allows feelings of tension and stress to move through and out of your body. As a result, you can feel more grounded and energized.

• Lastly, move your body. By moving your body, you give your brain a break from problem-solving, while also giving yourself a chance to reconnect with your body. Turn on some music and dance! After some movement or exercise, you can come back to the task at hand feeling refreshed and renewed.

These three little things are all easy to do. They donʼt require that you pay for treatments or buy special equipment. Try them out for yourself and see how you feel, and please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below!

Sources:
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention FastStats:
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/heart.htm

Mayo Clinic- Stress: Win Control Over the Stress In Your Life
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/stress/SR00001/NSECTIONGROUP=2

National Institute of Mental Health- The Numbers Count: Mental Disorders in America http:// www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/the-numbers-count-mental-disorders-in-america/ index.shtml#

Sometimes we encounter obstacles in life that feel like they need overcoming, but yet in spite of our best efforts, nothing seems to happen. At these times we can feel angry, tired, defeated, scared, or maybe even more committed to “plow through” and persevere.

And while sometimes perseverance is necessary in order to follow through and overcome a personal challenge, what would happen if you stopped pushing against it? Rather than resisting and fighting, what would happen if you just simply surrendered into it by acknowledging and embracing the challenge?

I know, easier said than done sometimes, but oftentimes by doing this, we can find wonderful learning opportunities contained within what we experience as obstacles. By tapping in and allowing ourselves to go deeper into the emotions or meaning that surrounds our experience, we can gain awareness, perspective, and insight that may either help us in either overcoming our challenge or recognizing that better opportunities exist.

I encourage you to give it a try. Set some time aside for yourself where you can reflect on what obstacles you face and see what hidden opportunities they might contain. I’d love to hear what you discover!

Reflecting back upon your own life experience, how do you feel when you find yourself in a situation in which you must speak up? Do you feel comfortable using your voice? Unfortunately, many of us have had experiences in life that led us to “silence” ourselves out of feelings of fear and feelings of inadequacy. This silencing carries a price, as we deny ourselves the opportunity to fully express who we are in the present moment.

If you find that you’re “silencing” yourself, an activity you can engage in to reclaim your voice is a vocal exercise called “toning.” Toning is an easy, gentle way of working with one’s own sound and breath. In toning, the vowels “AH,” “AY,” “EE,” “OH,” and “OO” are individually sounded on pitches of your choosing.

When preparing to tone, find a space where you can feel safe engaging in voice work; this is a time for self-exploration, not inhibition. Once you’ve identified a space that works for you, position yourself in a chair with both feet on the floor so that you can breathe freely and deeply. Breath is an important component to voice work, whether it be for toning, singing, or speaking. You may want to take a few moments to breathe and become more present before beginning to tone.

Once you’re ready to tone, identify a pitch that feels comfortable and then tone on a vowel for 5 minutes. Toning for this amount of time provides an opportunity for your voice to warm up, as well as allow you to have a deeper experience without overtaxing your voice. While toning, bring your awareness to what is happening in the present moment; simply notice whatever thoughts, feelings, and sensations may arise. Afterwards, you may even want to journal your experience. Try this activity for one week, choosing a single vowel to tone each day.

While your experience toning will be unique to you, there are common benefits for those who choose to engage in such vocal exploration activities, including decreased feelings of stress and an increased sense of relaxation. Even more important, when we feel connected to our voices, we can be more authentic in who we are. By exploring our voices in new and different ways, we can gain greater self-awareness, acceptance of our life situations, and discover new ways of relating in an ever-changing world.

However, it is important that you recognize this truth in order to reclaim your own innate creativity that can allow you to become more fully who you are.

In some ways, creativity is a phenomenon unique to human beings. While plants and animals are certainly capable of creating things in the basic sense of the word (eg- plants create oxygen, beavers can create dams), only humans- as far as we know- can actively use their artistic or imaginative effort in order to bring something new into being.

You may be thinking to yourself, “What is the significance of creativity?” Creativity is helpful to us in a couple of ways:

The first is that creativity can allow for the expression of your deepest feelings, as well as convey the depth of your emotion. The ability for people to express themselves is important, and by using one’s creativity, emotions can be expressed in an uniquely powerful way.

Another way in which creativity is important is that, from a cognitive standpoint, creativity can help give rise to innovation. The ability to “think outside the box” is an important strength to have in today’s world as we find ourselves facing many serious problems that require innovative solutions. By engaging in creative activities, problem solving and decision making skills can be developed, while also identifying ways to improve plans or processes.

So what can you do if you’ve lost your sense of creativity and playfulness? The following are some simple ways that adults can regain and maintain a spirit of fun and creativity:

Be curious. By becoming curious about the world around you, you begin to notice new things, thereby expanding your awareness. Additionally, by reconnecting with a childlike curiosity, you can learn new things without the process seeming like a chore!

Celebrate your failures. We learn through our mistakes. By celebrating your “failures,” you can not only learn what to do or not to do in a given situation, but you may have unintentionally found a better solution to a problem!

Nurture your inner child. When you nurture your inner child and allow yourself to have fun, you are providing your mind and body with the opportunity to take a break from the everyday stressors that sometimes make being an adult not-so-fun. While the problems causing you stress or discomfort may not go away immediately, allowing yourself the opportunity to take a break and have fun will help you to come back to the problem later feeling refreshed and renewed. Or… perhaps your creative endeavors will help lead you to the solutions you seek- the creative process is not linear and you never know where it can lead you!

By recognizing and reclaiming your creativity, you are allowing yourself to become more of who you really are. Be it through music, art, cooking, gardening- find whatever is most inspiring to you and have fun creating. It is your birthright!

Being there in the garden caused me to reflect upon the hymn, “In the Garden,” which is a song highly requested by the patients whom I work with in hospice. There are several different reasons why I have found this song to be so popular.

• First, many of my patients have early childhood connections to this song. They may remember hearing or singing it as a child in church. Still others may have memories of family members who would sing this song around the house. This often brings back fond memories of early childhood, as well as provides for a sense of safety and comfort as they process through their own lives.

• Second, the imagery in this song is quite vivid. Several patients have told me about how comforting and peaceful it is to imagine themselves standing in this garden. Some people have even been able to feel the dew and smell the roses!

• The third reason is the spiritual interaction and communication that is alluded to in this song. The description of standing alone in a garden with Jesus, whom these patients identify as being their Savior, is a very intimate one. This again seems to provide patients with a sense of security and peace during what is a frightening time for many people.

While many people are uncomfortable talking about the possibility of their own deaths, dying is an inevitable part of life. I find that music can be an especially powerful way for people to reflect upon and make peace with the lives they’ve lived and the decisions they’ve made in life. I consider it to be an honor to bring music to people in this way.

Below is a link to the video recording I made of myself singing “In the Garden” that day at the Callahan House. This recording is the first in what I hope to be an ongoing series of music I use in my hospice work and the reasons behind why I use them.

In the Garden

I would love to know what songs you would find to be meaningful, either for yourself or in the work that you do if you are also a hospice music therapist. Please feel free to share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below!

As we head into the autumn season, I can’t help but to think about changes. As the seasons of the year change, we are presented with a special opportunity to sit, be, and to reflect upon whatever changes we ourselves may be going through. I personally cherish these opportunities for being present to the parallel process that I find to often be occurring between my own internal experience and the experience of the greater world around me. By doing so, it helps me to feel more connected to the cycles of nature.

As I sit here today witnessing the beginning of September in its ever-heated Colorado beauty, I am struck by the realization of marked contrast inherent to fall. In one sense, fall is associated with “harvest,” “bounty,” and “abundance.” Yet, the flip-side of this is what is left after the bounty has been harvested- we find ourselves approaching the seemingly barren darkness of winter.

Within myself I am aware of my own feelings of contrast as I grow into my own greater Self. I reflect upon the seeds that I have planted in both my personal and professional life, while looking consciously and objectively at the fruit that those seeds have yielded. While some things have already come to fruition, I recognize that not everything is quite “ripe” yet for harvest.

But I trust that in time they will be.

What seeds have you planted for yourself? What will be a part of your fall harvest? Please feel free to share by leaving a comment.

(As an interesting autumn-related aside, in Indian mythology, autumn is considered to be the preferred season for the goddess of learning Saraswati, who is also known by the name of “goddess of autumn” (Sharada). Saraswati also happens to be the goddess of music and the creative arts.)

With all that said, so much has happened since I first tried my hand at blogging over a year ago. During the past year I left my position as a paraeducator with Boulder Valley School District and officially began my career as a music therapist by working with Compassionate Hospice Care in Broomfield, Colorado. As well, I have provided music psychotherapy services through SoundWell Music Therapy to folks in my community and have gained a comfortably-sized music studio of voice, piano, and guitar students.

Through all of this change and transition, I find it important to express my gratitude for the opportunities that have presented themselves to me this past year.

So on that note, I would like to extend my thanks to those who have helped me in making my professional dreams become reality! First off, big thanks goes out to Nino Gallo of Personal Investment Enterprise through Community Action Programs of Boulder County. Through the support of this program, I was able to learn how to write an effective business plan as well as obtain funding for purchasing instruments, equipment, and resources that will better allow me to provide music therapy services to children and adults living in Boulder County.

My second shout out of gratitude goes to Obbie King of Purplearth Cozmik Imagez for helping me create the WordPress site of my dreams. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! This transition over to WordPress from iWeb wouldn’t have been as easy or as pretty without your assistance.

I also wish to express my gratitude to all of my music therapist colleagues out there who have served as an inspiration to me for what can be done both in the therapeutic setting as well as within the larger community-creating setting of social networking. I won’t mention everyone by name here, but I highly encourage you to check out their websites and blogs that I’ve included on the FAQs and Resources page of the SoundWell Music Therapy website.

Lastly, I want to thank you for being here and being you!

Please feel welcome to leave your thoughts, ideas, and comments in the comments section below.